What if I were Samson and you were dead?

Sometimes I'll wake up with no memory of my dreams except a statement or phrase. It's impossible to tell if it's a synopsis of what has just occurred, a fracture of the greater whole, or something completely unrelated entirely...

When I was younger I had long hair. I wasn't so young that it had a certain element of carefree jubilation, but more an testament to the complete hatred for all the existed around me in my teenage years. At it's longest it fell just below my shoulders. I would be lying if I said it was a thing of glory. More accurately it was a tangled, greasy rats nest, the unkempt nature of which I felt accurately expressed my general malaise with my own existence. I didn't like myself and it was a means of ensuring that not too many other people like me either. I don't remember this being a conscious decision, but things always seem more clear in the rear view. My parents always begged me to cut it. They would do anything to be rid of the horrific mop that adorned my head. As any good teenager, I resisted. It was a tragedy, but it was my tragedy and I embraced it like a child with a new puppy that hasn't been told yet that if you squeeze him too hard he might die of asphyxiation. It began as a sort of security blanket, but as with all things that give us a false sense of comfort in time it became a burden. I remember one specific day as I was lumbering between classes, out of the corner of my eye I could see a group of other kids chuckling in my direction. I gave it little bearing as it was common place for the social elite of my high school to look down upon those that were of a lower caste. I could see that one of them had broken from the group and was heading in my direction. I can't remember exactly who it was, but it could have been any of them as a major tenet of being a part of the upper echelon required that individual thought be suppressed and replaced by that of the collective. "Are you a boy or a girl?" Engaging in this conversation was futile, but I felt an obligation to respond. This is an ongoing thing in my life and maybe it's a character flaw, but in situations of conflict I am unable to simply ignore the problem. It doesn't always make things better, in fact it generally makes them worse, but it's not something I could change then and I'm not ready to change it now. "What do you think?" A grin reminiscent of the Grinch crept across his face, never have I seen a greater physical display of schadenfreude, "A girl right? I've wondered for a while but could never tell." At that moment I wanted to embed my fist into his face, wanted to tackle him to the ground and repeated beat his fragile face into the cement until blood covered the ground around us and anyone within view shrieked in terror as they realize that this is the first time in their life that they will see someones life end before them. Just the thought of it made me crack a grin so subtle Mona Lisa would be jealous, "Go with that." Laughter erupted as the boy returned to his group of friends, "IT'S A GIRL!" I shook my head as I trudged on to class, the sounds of their elation still ringing in my ears as I entered the building. I made my way into my math class, where I never participated in class but instead spent the hour sitting on the teachers computer composing a sort of murder mystery. I always finished my assignments weeks before they were even assigned and when it came time for the test the only time I would have to study is when I'd completely the material so long ago that I'd completely forgotten what it was. For that entire year it became a sort of refuge in my day. I miss that. It wasn't long after I decided to forgo my senior year of high school, to take classes at the local community college, that I cut my hair. My father joy's may have exceed that of the mocking children, but this was a more pure joy, without the flaws of malice. He took me to a small salon, there were only three chairs, in Bellevue and introduced me to one of the most animated people I've ever met in my life. He cut my hair with a fervor greater than anything I'd encountered. With each snip of the sheers his jaw would clench and release, like some demon faced insect feasting on a field of freshly fertilized grass blades, his joy was the greatest I'd seen thus far. I left with hair shorter than I'd had in nearly a decade, dyed red as the fire that was beginning to grow inside, of self acceptance and contentment that still has yet to reach it's full fruition. A few weeks later I was sitting down for dinner with my father. As we sat waiting for our food an elderly woman, who was as much 85 as she was 110,  walked passed our table. She more struggled with her walker than walked as we are accustomed to doing. It was then that she made an unexpected detour. We were maybe 8 feet out of her path, but she painstakingly made the adjustment necessary to come right up the edge of our table and with a voice as wise and understanding as it was serene she said to me, "you have the most beautiful hair." I could tell from the look behind her eyes that she wasn't talking to me, but to some lover, long dead, that now only exists in her memories. She saw him again in me and for that brief moment we were what each other needed. To this day her face is one of my fondest memories.

Samson and Delliah - Peter Paul Rubens 

I had a dream last night. Many different people were in it. If you were one of those people could you please contact me. I'd like to know what really happened.

"Thank God that wasn't real"

I don't know how else to say this so I'm just going to copy the chat dialog from my explaining it a moment ago:

I had the most fucked up dream last night

it all seemed so real that when I woke up I actually said out loud, "thank god that wasn't real"

Aliens had invaded

and they were snatchin' people up and destroying the place

Durango got blasted with a rocket

blown to smithereens

we kept wondering if he was really dead

or just taken somewhere else

but the explosion led us to believe he was no more, so it goes

They kept trying to abduct Wes, but we hid him in a closet

a magic closet of sorts

Then we met these guys who had this giant suitcase labeled "rations"

so we fought them for it and won

however when we opened it up it was empty

and the guys we attacked were all tied up, and they seemed to have troll faces

not real ones, but just the slight hint, you know, like that Solo pic

we all ended up in this lounge like thing

there was like 30 people there

we were all forming a resistance faction

but all the liquor was gone

except for a 1/2 gal of Rum

which you happily passed to me

and i mixed with diet dr pepper

Then I woke up.

If it weren't for magnets none of us would be here.

I'm going to get a dog. It's decided. I got the go ahead from the roommates and now all I have to do is find one. Leaning towards a lab mix of some sort. Maybe pit or husky mix. I don't want a little yapper that's for sure. I'll be sure to keep you all posted as things progress...

My body is still a little sore. I spent the weekend helping people move. I've had numerous people tell me that I'm crazy for committing to help on back to back days. I guess the way I see it is that it's a small price to pay for having the great people in my life that I do...

I'm doing the MS Walk again this year. If you're feeling generous you should sponsor me. It's a good cause...

Sorry, no pictures this time around...

Now I think I'll leave you with an excerpt of a thing I'm working on. As with a good number of my "projects" Some of what you read actually happened, most it didn't. I'm not sure if this will ever be finished, but it is what it is:

“I can’t believe that this is where you grew up,” John said. “I mean, nothing against you, but other than the neighborhood this is a great place.”

And it really was. Once we reached the porch it’s full beauty came into view. The house sat atop a 200 foot cliff that looked out onto Puget Sound and Vashon Island. On clear days you could see the Olympic Mountains in all their glory rising above the water on the horizon. I didn’t think much about it, but upon seeing it again I realized how much I missed it.

“How’d your folks afford a place like this anyways?”

“They bought it a long time ago, when things cost less. What exactly are we working on?”

“Oh that wall back down the driveway. We’ve just got to fill in a couple parts. Shouldn’t take us long at all if you want to walk around for a bit first.”

“Yeah I would like that actually.”

“Alright, I’m going to gather up some tools.”

John wandered down to the old shed on the south side of the property. The door never locked so the only thing we ever used it for was storing rusty old tools, they hadn’t changed that policy. Back in middle school some friends and I were trying to clean it up and came across a couple bottles of wine. My parents never drank so it was a complete mystery as to where they came from. We couldn’t find a cork screw and had to get creative opening the bottles. Once we’d worked it enough to just push the cork through we drank all night long out in a corner of the yard. My dad never said anything about it, but I think he knew.

I walked over and sat down next to a fig tree. I always thought it was the best view on the property. A couple of Madrone trees had grown tall enough to block a portion of the view. I thought about going to cut them down. I thought about cutting down the fig tree. I thought about burning the house to the ground. I thought about a lot of things, but before I could do any of them I was interrupted.

“Sean? Sean is that you?”
                I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Mrs. Bloomer, how are you?”

“Oh Sean, I can’t believe it’s you. It’s been so long.”

“It has been. I’m a little surprised that you still live here.”

“Well I wasn’t about to be chased out of my home by a few no-good-ians.”

“I’m glad to hear you haven’t changed your stubborn ways.”

We both smiled from opposite side of the fence.

“What brings you out here, Sean?”

“Well actually I’m here to do some work. My buddy’s brother just bought the place.”

“That’s so good to hear. It’s pained me to see this house fall into the state that it has. You used to take such better care of it. Would you like to come over for some coffee, maybe a cookie?”

When I was still in elementary school I’d go to Mrs. Bloomer’s house every day after class for a cookie. She lived alone and didn’t seem to have much in the way of family, but she always had an excess of baked goods around the house so the neighborhood kids gravitated to her house like bears to honey.

“That’d be nice, give me just a second I’ll be right around.”

I walked down the driveway and told John I’d be right back. He was listening to some music through headphones and I wasn’t sure if he understood what I said, but waved me along either way.

Mrs Bloomer’s was the last house on the dead end. There were large evergreen trees that concealed the entire building except a quaint garage. There was a short chain link fence that did little more than keep her dachshunds from running free.

It wasn’t till I reached the kitchen that I realized she already had company and it stopped me dead in my tracks. It was the old woman from the bowling alley.

“Sean, this is my friend Eleanor.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you again, Sean.”

The look on my face must have expressed my total confusion. Mrs Bloomer moved closer to me, “Is everything alright Sean?”

Eleanor stood up and said, “Oh I’m sure he’s fine Florence, just a bit surprised to find me here.”

 “Oh, you already know each other?” Mrs Bloomer said with excitement.

Finally composing myself enough to speak I said, “I guess you could say that.”

“Well, here dear, have a seat. The coffee is almost ready. So how is it that you two met?”

I looked at Eleanor and immediately could hear her voice in my head, “Don’t involve her with our problems.”

Startled I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and she began again, “Tell her that we met bowling. She doesn’t need to worry herself with our situation.”

Not knowing what else to do I said aloud, “Actually I met, was it Eleanor here, bowling a short while ago. We shared a drink before I met with some friends. How do you know each other?”

Eleanor invaded my mind once again, “Good. I won’t explain this all now, but I will in time.”

Then she spoke for us all to hear, “Oh Florence and I have been friends for a very long time. I actually remember coming to visit her back when you were young.”

Mrs. Bloomer sat a plate of cookies on the table and said, “Always looking for cookies. I guess some things don’t ever change.”

I smiled, “I guess not.”

We made small talk for a little while about where I was living and what I was doing. She briefly asked about my family, but respected my position when I didn’t want to get into that. After about 20 minutes I decided that I needed to get to work.

“It was a pleasure seeing you again Mrs Bloomer. And you as well Eleanor.”

“Oh I’m just tickled to get to see you all grown up.” Mrs Bloomer said while giving me a hug.

“Likewise Sean, I’m sure that we’ll be seeing each older again.” She said before returning to her form of silent communication, “Very soon.”

“Yes, well I really do need to get back to work. I’ll stop by again if I’m in the neighborhood.”

The older I get the less people come and the more people go

I haven't been blogging many dreams lately. There is a very good reason for this. I went years without experiencing anything that might be seen as a nightmare. Even the horrific dreams always seemed to have some underlying element of hope. Recently this hasn't been the case. There is a disparity that I can't quite explain. Whatever it is I need to figure it out, because I think it's having a negative impact on my outlook. For instance last night...

I was a solider in Alexander's army. We were in Persia shortly after Alexander died. All of the other men seemed lost, content to simply wander aimlessly. I wanted to get home, but had no idea where home was any more. I left the rest of the troops and started to head west. It was a long and arduous journey. I went for miles and miles without ever seeing another soul. I passed through a variety of settlements, each time I'd get excited to finally talk to someone, but then I'd get to a point just outside the walls to find that no one was left. The majority of them seemed to be abandoned with the exception of the last city I came across. I was somewhere in Egypt at this point, there were pyramids in the distance. The walls around the city were massive and had the gates been shut I'd never had made it in. I started to walk around the abandoned town wondering where everyone was. It was like they all just picked up and left in a hurry. As I got closer to the center of the city I notice smoke rising from a plaza. When I reached the square I keeled over and started to vomit. The smoke was rising from a huge pile of corpses. Despite the fact no one was around it seemed to have been recently ignited as I could still see the flesh melting from the bones. I turned and ran. I kept running. Through the desert. Along the shore. Running. Until I woke up...

It's time to cut a rug and throw the deuce up in the sky

Y'all should read this. It's pretty much what I was talking about earlier this week...

Last night I was in Vegas again. I should point out that I forgot to remove the nicotine patch, which produces the most lucid dreams I've ever had. I really wanted to take a shower but people kept stealing my towel. I searched everywhere for it. When I finally got it back I found that none of the hotels had showers anymore and instead there was a long line of them all together. Then I had to get quarters for the hot water. No one would change my chips for quarters. Once I finally got everything I needed I got into the shower. Then I was back at home. I never got to clean myself so I went to do that but there wasn't any hot water. I went to check the tank to find it was missing entirely. I was irate. Who had been in my apartment without my knowledge!? Then I woke up to the faint smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. There was a fire on my block...

Gorillaz are going to be touring North America in October!!!! I hope that they make it to the PNW....

Kosovo has been ruled a "legitimate" country. This is actually great news for any region aspiring for independent rule. Hopefully this will one day be used as precedence for Cascadian independence. Hopefully...

I'd have shit the bed if only to get closure on that anecdote

Slept with the patch on last night. I didn't mean to, but I did. Strange dreams. I wish I remembered more of what happened...

I was living back in this house on 22nd in the U District. However in this reality everything about the house was opposite. I was getting ready to move into the unit and was moving things in before I was technically a resident.

Everything I owned was bling. Antique oak furniture. Tiffany lamps. Those kinds of things. The apartment was small and everywhere you looked there was elegance. I wandered down to the 7-11 to get a pack of cigarettes (this is common in my dreams now) and when I got back the door was open.

I went inside slowly, hoping that whoever was robbing my stuff was still there. Sure enough when I got into the bedroom I found an old friend of my brothers rooting through my drawers. He'd just found my herb stash, which would have been measured in ounces if not pounds, and had a handful of it up to his face when I walked in. Immediately he freaked out and try to dart around me. I was able to stop him easily and hog tied him up with some ribbon nearby. Yeah apparently in this reality I'm the kind of person who has ribbon lying around. Go figure.

Then I called the cops. They arrived in short time and started to look around the place and question the perp. That's when the police noticed my purp. In my haste to have the man arrested I failed to put it all away and the place reeked of that jumbo cash crop. So as soon as they had dealt with the thief I was also arrested for felony possession and unlawful entry.

The confiscated all of my things (the weed, my furniture, everything) and took me to jail. Jail wasn't so bad. I had a cell all to myself in a room that could only be described as extremely sterile. I was there for what seemed to be an eternity and it very well might have been. The lights were always on.

Every once in a while and elderly woman would come by with a cart of books and let me take a few. She was the only person I saw until a group of very large men, easily twice my size, arrived and told me it was time to go. I followed closely behind them as we traveled through a labyrinth of cells, all identical to my own. It went on forever.

I never reached our final destination because I woke up and had to take a shit. I wanted nothing more than to get back into bed and fall right back in place.

Unfortunately it was for not and instead I was at a party. I didn't know anyone there but it seemed like the place to be. I spent some time talking with a group of people, mostly newly weds, about the prospects of succession and it's impact on our cultural integrity. I continued to hit the snooze, much longer than I should have, and as a result was 15 minutes late to work.

What's in store? We don't know just yet.

There was a plane crash. Everyone died but a 10 year old boy. It really make me wonder what fate has in store for him....

The Green Fest is coming back to Seattle. Here's a blurb about it over at Polar Bear Soup...

I went boating last weekend. It was great. We went up the Duwamish river and then over to Blake Island. I got a few pics with my phone of the totems they have, lighting was horrible, but you get the idea. Really made me want to start making one immediately. Patience though. In time I will...







Speaking of totem poles. They've decided what to do with the guy who stole the pole in West Seattle. They're fining him a total of $20,200 and NOT pressing charges!! I can't believe it. What might be even more unbelievable is that the guy wrote them a $17,000 check. If he had that kind of money sitting in his checking account, why was he stealing a totem pole?...

I've had dreams two nights in a row now that involve a woman named Evelyn. In the first she was elderly and helped me get home from my grandma's. When we got downtown she seemed to reverse her aging by 30 years and we went to a house party in Georgetown. Last night she was a young child that was lost in a shopping mall and I helped her to find her parents. Even though her age varied I could always tell it was the same person. I hope that I get to see her again...

The bar and the hills

Last night began at the Water Wheel, only it's wasn't. It was a cross between that and some other place I've never been before. Everyone seemed to be there, including you, drinking and being generally jovial. I blacked out for a while and things seemed to go wrong after that.

When I came to I was at the bar being screamed at by an old coworker. She was pissed that I just cost her the rest of her shift. After a lot of yelling it was revealed in flash images that I bought her a drink and her boss wasn't going to let her waitress after having a drink.

While this was going on there was an unknown group that kept calling me into the bathroom. Every time I'd hear someone yell I turned around to a different person trying to coax me in. I wanted nothing to do with any of the scene so got up and went to order a drink.

I went up to the bar and ordered a few shots, but I couldn't find my card to pay. The woman who ran the bar smiled and said, "Don't worry honey I kept it for you, I knew you'd be back." She then passed over three shots of brown liquor and handed me my card. The card looked like it had been butchered and then taped back together. I was irate and started screaming. She told me to talk to my old coworker.

I went over and threw one of the shots in her face before yelling, "What the fuck did you do to my debit card!" She slapped me and then busted up laughing. "I cut that thing to pieces after you paid for my cab ride here." "WHAT!? I paid for your cab?!?" "Yeah you said it was no problem. I figured you wouldn't remember. Don't worry though it was only a couple hundred dollars. Oh yeah, and you tipped him really well." I was enraged. I took the other two shots straight back, looked her straight in the face and said, "you're a bitch". Then I left.

As I got out onto the street I encountered the Swirl. He was just as wasted as I was. We bullshitted for a while and then decided that we needed to get some doughnuts. It was at least two miles to the nearest doughnut shop so we waited at a bus stop. However it wasn't a bus stop like you'd recognize. When we got there we sat in the seats, at which point harnessing lowered and enclosed us. The seat was then lifted by a large magnet and we began to travel down the street at very high speeds.

It was only a few moments and we were interrupted by a group of men in black cloaks. Their very presence stopped our maglift bus ride. We were released by the seats and the men immediately started to "scan" the Swirl. I took a few steps back and just watched it all. They turned him in all sorts of directions, inspecting everything about him. Finally the obvious leader of the group said, "He's clean. His clothes covered his whole body during the tests. Let him go." They gave a strange look at me, but then walked the other direction.

This is when everything changed. I was no longer near my house. Everyone at the bar was gone. I was in a very small car on my way to Vancouver with the 4ster's. It wasn't long before we reached our destination, but again it wasn't what I expected. There were giant hills all around us and while it was unseasonably warm in Seattle, Vancouver was under multiple feet of snow.

We parked the car at the bottom of a hill. The area reminded me of Leavenworth, if it was built between 5 massive, steep hills. The 2x4ster began to demand that we visit a chocolatier. This is when I noticed that half of the stores only sold specialty chocolates. We hit up a couple and I was in awe of the variety and craftsmanship of all the chocolates. I ate so much I thought I was going to vomit in the snow.

We decided that we needed to eat some kind of real food. A small elderly lesbian couple, as if they knew what we wanted, broke from their kissing to tell us about a tapas place that was worth checking out. We headed back to the car and started to drive up the hill. We didn't get too far before the car slid back down the slippery incline. A few more attempts were made, but all failed.

I got out to see if I could find someone to tell us how to get there without having to go up the hill. I met a young woman who knew exactly where I was talking about. "Oh yes! It's not just tapas. They have raviolis too. Make sure that you try the ravioli. If you don't try the ravioli you're really going to be disappointed."


I thanked her for the advice and went back to the group. There were less than pleased to find that all we talked about was ravioli and not how to get there. They all seemed to turn on me. If only they'd had pitchforks and torches I could have called them an angry mob.


Then I was back at home lying in my bed. It was another hour before my alarm would go off. I just laid in bed and listened to the sound of the rain.

The likes of which I could never imagine

It began in Las Vegas. I was staying in a hotel room with Jonny D and TK. My dad was also in town and we were trying to meet up with him. We got side tracked gambling at the penny slots. Lights were everywhere. I remember standing by the window in my room and looking out over the desert expanse. I thought to myself, "it's been too long since I've been here."


There was a large amount of confusion when it came time to leave. The dust settled and I was in Chicago.

I was wearing my trashy desert gear and wasn't ready for the big city. So I headed down to the shopping mall. It was a labyrinth of retail, each seeming the same. I went into a men's furnishing store called "MM" and looked around for a while. They had some good stuff but I thought it best to continue on my search before committing to anything.

As I was wandering the halls I noticed an old friend sitting on a bench with a young asian woman on his lap and a middle eastern teenager standing behind him, like a guard. I didn't want to be noticed so I turned and walked the other way immediately. I could hear him call my name, but I just kept walking. They all took chase. I had to get out.

I ran back to "MM" but it had been renamed "HOMM" and was all rearranged. I ducked in and out of the aisles, grabbing a few shirts and a couple pairs of pants. Occasionally I would glance around to see if I was being followed, I was. There were a pair of boots that I decided were essential but they were sold individually so I had to find two of the same size.

I had an employee ring me up quickly and asked what the fastest way out would be. He pointed to an old fire escape and I was gone.

The metal was rusted and every step felt like it would collapse the whole structure. I ran with a passion. After navigating down a few flights I saw an elevator in the distance. It wasn't a modern elevator, but more the type that is fully exposed and you have to latch the door manually. There was a man getting on as I approached and he questioned whether the cables were strong enough to support us both. I didn't care. I forced the door shut, just as my pursuers came into view.

In order to facilitate the descent. I had to move the cable by hand. The braided metal tore my hands to shreds. Blood started running down my forearms and my grip became shaky, but we didn't crash to our death.

When we reached the other end we were some distance away at the entrance to a subway station. I started to freak out. I didn't want to be so far off. I had to get back to the hotel so I could change and figure things out. Then I realized that I didn't have any of the clothes I had bought. I must have lost them in the escape. I still had the boots though.

I ran up to a woman and asked where I was. She told me, "at the park". "Well I need to get back to the mall. Do you know how to get that elevator to go backwards?" "That elevator only goes one way." I turn to find that it wasn't even there anymore.

I ran over to a city map to figure out my exact location. I was miles from where I wanted to be. My phone rang; it was the hotel. All of my luggage was lost in shipping. It crossed my mind to just give up. I didn't have anything anymore, except what was on my back and the boots in my hand. Wait. The boots. They were gone too.

Confused as to what to do next I set up "camp", next to a series of shrubs, outside a skyscraper. As I was doing a little re-con a UPS truck drove up. Tracy, an old delivery driver, came up and handed me the middle brace to a bed frame, "Sorry this is all we've been able to recover. I'll be back if we find more." "How did you find me? This isn't even mine." "It most certainly is." And she was gone.

I set the bar up against the building and was greeted by the 2x4ster. I was very happy to see him. It was getting dark and I was sure to fail if left on my own. We talked for a while about what to do and decided that the best course of action would be to wait for the cover of darkness and then try to make it to the hotel.

Some time had passed and we were preparing to disembark when suddenly I noticed men falling from the building across the street. They weren't free falling but more paradropping in. One man grabbed onto a power line, much like a monkey would a jungle branch. Others glided gently to the ground without the aid of a chute or anything to slow their decent.

The leader of these men gathered them all together and they began to march down the street away from us. We had decided that we'd be safe if we were able to infiltrate their ranks and travel with them in plain sight. It never made it that far. And now I'll never know if they were leading us to safety, salvation or a tragedy the likes of which I could never imagine...


(Thanks to the 2x4ster for the copy edit assistance. When I'm in a rush to get a post up grammar is the first to go out the window. This post was especially bad.)

A Sour Civil War Killed The Dream of Lying Awake Backstage.

I'm a bit sour on blogging lately. I'm hoping that by blogging it'll help me get over it. It usually works...

Seems like half the country is pissed off. Really pissed off. I've heard mention of civil war half a dozen times in the last week. Strange to think about a civil war in the USA. I think that the state government should pass some measure as a fail safe. Essentially that in the event of civil war the state of Washington would then become an autonomous nation that is to remain neutral. I bet Cali and Oregon would sign on with us. Let everyone else fight it out while we just chill. It's the west coast way...

We're all gonna die out here. We just don't now when...

Had a dream last night that I was house sitting my Grandma's place. She was out of town for like a month and I was trying to make sure everything was exactly how she left it. Somehow things got out of control and there was a massive party. I kept telling everyone they shouldn't be there, but no one listened to me. They all just kept inviting more people. Even her neighbors were in on the scene. Moral of the story: Grandma don't ask me to house sit for you, no matter what I do it'll end up badly...

As I was tring to fall asleep last night I couldn't. I often find myself thinking about random things when this happens. Last night I thought about domesticated farm animals and what the proper techniques are to avoid inbreeding. Then I thought about whether these things we considered in past ages. Finally I got bored with that thought and moved on to defensive architecture. Turrets and the like. That shifted to muslim architecture. Beautiful mosaics and minarets. When I move to a farm I hope that my property is protected with turrents with a giant minaret in the center. So I know which way to pray...

I went backstage at the Paramount on Sunday. It was this tour thing I went on with PMRob. Kinda cool. Definitely gives a different perspective...

The Five Towers

Last night I went to a house I'd never been to before. It was some kind of party with people I didn't recognize. We ate pizza and everyone took turns telling jokes. After some time we all decided to call it a night and found places to sleep. I took a table that converted into a bed. Above the table there was a television embedded in the wall. Everyone else seemed to fall asleep immediately as I tossed and turned. Finally I gave up on trying to sleep I switched on the tv in hopes of finding an infomercial to lull myself to sleep.

As I turned on the tv it starting streaming extremely hard core pornography with the volume blaring. People were instantly awoken. The first person awake was Adam Savage from mythbusters. He took my actions as a declaration of orgy, "I thought it'd be tomorrow before we got into this but that's cool". Everyone removed their clothes in a fraction of a moment. I, being caught horribly off guard, stood up and started to make my escape. I was almost to the door when three women tried to stop me. "Are we ugly, is that why you're leaving?" "No no you're beautiful I just wasn't expecting this." And before any of them could speak again I was gone.

It was dark and the moon struggled to provide light through the dense forest canopy above. There was nothing around the house, not even a road out. I wondered how myself and everyone else had got there, but didn't dwell on it. In the distance I could see a row of lights and decided to follow them. I walked for miles amazed that I was able to see them from such a far distance. Occasionally a squirrle would snicker from the trees mockingly. I continued on undeterred.

I reached the source of the lights to find it was much more than I orginally had anticipated. There was a small mountain, at the base the first of many tall smoothed brick buildings. The buildings were scattered around the mountain in an upwards spiral connected by steep staircases.

As I approached the first tower a voice without form instructed me to go inside. There were no doors, only arched entry ways on either side and inside the tower it was completely hollow. The tower must have been 4 stories high or better. The floor was tiled in a mosaic of granite and sandstone. There were no other decorations. High up a torch burning appeared that seemed to levitate in the center, surrounded by other lights of varying brightness. Suddenly a booming voice echoed down the walls. "Welcome, I am Zeus." Then another torch as bright as the first appeared above me and responded, "And I Hera." "What is this place," I asked. "That doesn't matter," Hera replied, "What matters is that you must go up." Her words were soft and comforting. "Go now!" Zeus demanded.

I left the first tower and continued up the stairs. The stairs were lined with boulders and small plants. The rocks glowed in the moonlight. The second tower was exactly the same, only there was no torch. As I walked in many torches appeared above me, some much brighter than others. "[Desomniac] you've taken your time in finding this place," one voice spoke out. "Who are you?" I said. "They have called me Horus." "What is this place? Why are there so many lights here." "There are many lights because there are many of us in this tower. You are in a place that has been waiting for you for some time. You must continue now. Come back again."

As I left I could hear voices behind me, as if all the torches were whispering amongst themselves. The next tower was also empty. I waited for a long while assuming that a torch would appear, but nothing. Then the initial voice that instructed me into the first tower spoke again and told me to move along, there was nothing to see yet.

The fourth tower had three torches within it, already burning bright when I arrived. As I went inside I was extremely fatigued from the climb and sat in the center of the floor. "What has taken you so long?" a voice said. "I was waiting in the last tower." "Why would wait?" another voice said. "I thought something would appear like before." "You thought wrong," a third voice said, "you have no knowledge of what lives in that tower." The first voice spoke again, "without knowing you will never know." I stood up, "I don't understand". The second voice spoke, "You have but one tower left." In unison they all spoke, "Go now!"

The fifth tower was much further up the mountain. The staircase became more like rock climbing. This tower seemed to be newer, not bearing the weathered appearance of the others. As I went inside I found that the floor was not yet finished and a pile of tiles sat near the doorway. I paced back and forth trying to understand what all had happened thus far. It wasn't long before the initial voice could be heard again. "There will be no light in this tower." "I don't understand." "No one knows of this tower yet. And no one ever will." "Why am I here?" "You have not completed the task yet. You must see what lies in all four towers." "I don't know what I'm missing." "I hope that one day you discover it or all of this might be lost."

The ground than began to shake. The midnight sky burst into a thunderous rain storm. I walked out of the tower to see what was happening and the sky was lit by a thousand lightning bolts. And I was back in my room.

I apologize this isn't the anime version

Had a few strange dreams last night. In one I was sitting in my neighbors apartment (which I've never been in) and there was a fire going. I was there with him, a lady friend of his and another woman. We were watching some kind of nature show. The conversation was awkward and forced at times, seeming that none of us really knew what to say to the other. He began flipping through and endless list of channels. There must have been thousands. This then agitated the other woman who abruptly said, "The Love Below is on, why don't we just watch that." This enraged him, "I'm not going to watch that shit on broadcast. And besides it's the shitty one. I only watch the anime version." I had no idea what they were talking about...

Then I was in a city of the future. Everything was damp and dark. There didn't seem to be any roads, just an endless maze of alleyways. The alleys never seemed to end, but would occasionally weave inside buildings. Much to my surprise Durango popped out from around a corner, "C'mon [Desomniac] we need to get going. I followed him through one of the buildings, losing sight of him for only a moment. I ran after him, but took a wrong stairwell. It led to a ledge, with no railing, over looking an alley. He was beneath me. I ran back down and caught up with him. After a while I asked where we were going and he replied, "Breckenshire, you'll know it when we get there." We never got there...

I'm going to close with a little treat that I found on Duh.Blog...

Only some of these images are real

Last night while I was sleeping I saw a map. It was a large rectangular piece of wood raising in various places to suggest topography. There was one large ridge that crossed diagonally with two smaller ones extending from its sides almost like a cross. Some of the mountains seemed to drop off in massive cliffs while others slowly graded down to the edge of the map. A few rivers were indicated by blue lines the snaked through the lower elevations. One the map there were about half a dozen red dots, marking some kind of important locations. A few of them were clustered together, while the majority of them were spread out. I cannot remember the significance of the red dots or of the map itself...

I get a lot of strange comments nowadays. Part of me is starting to think that I'm going to have to moderate them, but I really don't want to have to do that. However it's kind of bullshit that I get a comment everyday on the same post in some asian language or people spam it up with links I'd never follow. There are some that I really enjoy though. Bah...

I'm getting my new phone today. I'm interested to see how it works out with blogging. I got the G1 so I'd have a keyboard. I'm hoping that it's really easy to add pics and things like that. We'll see...

Speaking of pictures, here is a few that I particularly enjoy...

A knock at the door

I had a dream last night...

I was supposed to meet with one of my customers. He was staying at a hotel downtown and I was told to meet one of his aides at a store on 6th and Pine. None of the store that are there were there. I was in a variety store on the northeast corner. They sold hats, t-shirts, bags and miscellaneous trinkets. The vast majority of the items seemed to be targeted at me specifically. I was in line to buy some items when I noticed a man in a black trench coat at the door. He was staring straight at me. I pointed to myself as if to say "me?" and he nodded. I set down the items I was going to buy and walked out to meet the man.

It was raining heavily. The roads were completely dilapidated and littered with potholes of various sizes that had filled with water. I danced around the puddles trying to move as quickly as my guide without getting my foot caught in a trap. He didn't seem to have the same concern. He walked a perfectly straight path even if it meant stepping into a pool of water.

As we neared the hotel I could see his trajectory would lead him to the largest pool I'd seen yet. I yelled for him to stop, turn and move around it, but he didn't. He took a step and then disappeared down into the abyss. I rushed to the edge of the hole, but could only see the water at the top. I reached in and felt around till I found something that seemed to be a human hand. I grasped it and pulled as hard as I could. There was a lot of tension at first but as soon as his hand broke the surface all resistance disappeared and I ended up throwing the man across the street. He thanked me quickly and continued on to our destination.

We arrived at a hotel like the Sheraton, but not. Everything was exquisite but strange. We took an ebony elevator up to the top floor. The layout was unlike any hotel I'd ever seen. None of the rooms had bathrooms and were layed out in some sort of abstract fractal pattern. It was like being in an MC Escher picture. I was shown to my room and waited there for a lifetime. There was nothing in the room except for a bed. The walls were completely blank. Time seemed to vary in speeds that I couldn't understand and couldn't change. I had become convinced that I was dead and this was my purgatory, until there was a knock at the door - and my alarm went off...

Afternoon story time

I can't think of anything to blog about so I'm going to tell you the story of what happened to me the other night...

I walked out of the airport, but it wasn't Sea-tac. If anything it reminded me most of the airport in Baltimore, however it was located in Boulevard Park. The time was 3 am and all of the transportation options were hours away, including taxi cabs. Unsure of what to do I decided to start walking up to White Center.

I was walking up 128th when the 2x4ster rolled up beside me towing a small boat. I hopped in his ride and we drove from some time. I remember the drive, but none of it was familiar so I have no frame of reference with which to describe it, other than it was very forested and seemed to be on the Olympic peninsula.

We arrived at a house on a lake and unloaded the boat by the shore. For some time we scurried about making all the necessary preparation to go out on the water. I went into the house to grab something and found NESF and Raybies eating breakfast at in a kitchen that seemed newly remodled. The light was dim as they sat in ultra modern stools and shoveled oatmeal into their mouths. They seemed to have no concern for manners or cleanliness as they continued to pile loads of oatmeal onto their already over filled tongues. They noticed my presence but didn't stop eating. We spoke briefly but I was so disgusted with their appearance that I had to leave.

I went searching for whatever it was I was there to get but got sidetracked playing wii. I played for a while before I remembered what I was supposed to be doing. I ran to the window to see that NESF, Raybies and the 2x4ster were already out on the water. Enraged I stole the 2x4ster's car and drove back to the city.

As I was getting into downtown I saw my sister walking and picked her up. We decided to grab some food in the Intl Dist. Driving around the ID was more like driving around China Town in San Francisco only all the roads ended in steep cliffs that dropped off without warning.

We parked outside a small Vietnamese deli and headed in. There were people everywhere. I picked up a sandwich, a couple mini rolls of sushi and a spring roll. I went up to the cash register to pay and the woman told me my total was over $50. I insisted that she had to be wrong and she starts to read back my order which includes various high priced pieces of sashimi. I spread out the items I was trying to purchase and tell her this is all. She is set that I owe much more.

Suddenly a young professional type comes up and explains that they must be charging me for part of his order. On the register display he shows the woman a variety of color images that he had ordered. She refused to change anything. I was standing between the man and the woman as I looked over at my sister pointing to her wrist and then walking right out the door.

Sailor take warning

As I slept I was back at my old house. I went out the front door, that some would call the back door, and walked over to the small hill that led to the back yard. I stood about halfway down the slope when I heard the sound of a chain saw to the north. One of the largest trees in the area began to shake. I screamed, "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!" People came running out. None of them my family, but they were there nonetheless.

A few moments later this massive tree began to fall in our direction. It crashed right through the house, it's tip nearly hitting us. I looked furiously to find out who had cut the tree down with no avail. If I'd found them I'd probably have killed them.

I went back to the house and the whole scene had changed, except the presence of the tree. Many of my coworkers were there. I went up to our HR lady who was lying in bed doing a puzzle. She told me that they were going to have to move my desk down into the basement due to tree damage. She wasn't able to show me where my new workstation was because she was injured in the crash.

I walked down the stairs, which were very treacherous due to collateral damage. I found my office had been set up underneath the stair case. As soon as I sat down to evaluate the situation my phone rang.

It was a customer of mine from Skagit county. She was furious and kept insisting that I was intentionally sabotaging their business. I tried to subdue her anger but that only seemed to fuel the fire. I finally told her that if I'm that horrible at taking her orders it's probably best that she speak with someone else with our company. She insisted that wasn't an option. I told her to call another company. Again that wasn't an option. Completely drained from the whole conversation I finally got her to agree to my calling her back after I "looked into" it more.

I quickly hit the "do not disturb" button on my phone and finally had a chance to take in my surroundings. About ten feet away, near what looked to be a furnace, was a few bean bag chairs, an old television and a Nintendo 64. I pulled up a bag and started to riffle through the games. They were all in disarray so I started to arrange them in a way that all of their titles were visible. Our warehouse manager showed up out of nowhere. "There's no point in organizing those. The kids will just come down and tear it apart again." "Kids?" I said. "Ha, you act like you're new here or something." He then went up the stairs.

I decided to go up and talk to HR again. As I walked into her office, the master bedroom, our sales manager was there putting away a puzzle that she had constructed on the bed sheets. "We're sending this back. There isn't enough Magenta." "I think it looks fine," she said. He point to the piece in the center of the puzzle, "you see this color?" The piece he pointed to was noticably different than the others. "This is the color that it should be. It's going back. Hey [Desomniac]". My alarm went off. I was lying in bed. From my bed I can see out the window to the east. The sky had a color that made it appear to be bleeding. It was the exact color of the "correct" puzzle piece. I turned over and hit the snooze. I'm still not ready for today...

You can all start calling me Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell

I'm behind on my reading. I picked up Ulysses on the ride to work this morning and realized that I had over 120 pages to read before tomorrow's meeting. I've already got through over 30 of them, which is why I've decided that I could take some time out to blog. Mad props to PMRob for dropping the knowledge that Ulysses is available to read online. For some reason I think it looks better if I'm at my desk reading a webpage than with a book open...

Strange set of dreams last night. The first began at a party. I believe we were near the university. Everything was going well until we realized that we were almost out of wine. EmRu was going to drive to her house to get more and I decided to tag along. We chatted off an on but mostly I was playing with my G1 phone. I'd just got it and was in awe. We arrived at her place, which was my old place in the U-district at the bottom of the steps of death. She returned to the car with many bottles of wine and we headed back to the party. Before we returned I woke up.

I got dressed and went to meet with PMRob. We had plans to do something and on our way I told him about the dream I had and how I had to go buy a G1 because my dreams were telling me that it was essential. He immediately agreed and changed course to go there instead of our predetermined destination. We went to the TMobile store at 85th and bought the G1 from a sales associate that we both had talked to before. While we were there PMRob freaked out after the sales manager had asked him multiple times if she could help him with anything. I thought he was going to shoot up the place. I quickly completed the transaction in order to diffuse the situation and we left. Then we were driving around for a while as I got the phone set up. We decided to get back to the original plan. We were driving for sometime, I still had no idea where but before I fully understood what our destination was I woke up.

I was late and had to rush out of my house. I was supposed to met with NESF, BK and Stoner for some kind of event at a school. I ran down to the 7-11 where I ran into JSh, MNom, and Mr Quick. MNom had a case of PBR's. I wondered why we needed beer for a school event but that didn't really matter. I asked them where the others were and I was told that BK and Stoner were on their way to Shelton. "Shelton!" I exclaimed. Mr Quick then explained to me that we were going to a local school while BK and Stoner were being sent out to Shelton and that they boarded a ferry 45 minutes prior. NESF then rolled up in an old station wagon that must have been manufactured in Europe as the drivers side was opposite what us Americans are accustom to. We loaded into the car and I relayed the previous dreams to everyone at which point it was agreed that I should get a G1 phone after the event. We were arriving at the school when I woke up.

I was lying in bed thinking about what time I had to go to work when my sister came in. This is when I first realized that I wasn't in my bed now, but the bed I had 10 years ago at my parents house. She was trying to get me out of bed to help her decide which color hangers matched best with different shirts she was hanging in her closet. There were dozens of colored hangers and even more clothes. I was still laying in bed while she held up various color combinations. I quickly gave my advice about which went best where. As soon as that was done I started to say, "You're not going to believe this series of dreams I just had." "Oh yeah?" she replied. The room then filled with a shrill noise, that turned out to be my alarm. I was so disoriented when it went off I ended up overturning my bedside table.

This time I was really awake and covered in water that spilled...

Went down to the Locks yesterday. Love that place...



Seriously, Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell has got to be one of the best names of all time...

We could have died

I have this pain in my left shoulder. It's been a couple days now. It was really hard to get to sleep last night. When I finally did...

I was in a packed van. I knew everyone from various places with the exception of one small boy. He was sitting in the far back with Dom, another child. SN was watching over them. The middle seat had NESF, MNom, DH and Ton. I was riding shotgun. Devid was driving.

We were cruising down the road to go check out a new deposit of antiques. It wasn't long before sirens came up behind us. "I think we're getting pulled over," Devid said. "I can't let that happen," Ton replied, leaned out the window and opened fire. Everyone was caught off guard. There was screaming and chaos as one of the bullets took out the front tire of the cop car. It spiraled uncontrollably behind us as we sped down the road.

"What the hell was that!" "Don't you know there are children in this car!" "Are you insane!?" Finally Ton spoke, "I'm not going back to jail. If they pull us over we're all going to jail." We were now fugitives and everyone accepted that fact easily.

This didn't stop us from our previous mission. We made our way to a spot under the Ballard Bridge. The whole area was piled with various tables, lamps, sofa and other furniture. There was some discussion about the era from which a certain piece originated. Lots of talk about what would look best where. None of it mattered. I was continually looking over my shoulder expecting a swat raid.

A few pieces of furniture were selected and loaded into the back of the van. We were loading everyone up when we realized the children were missing. We divided up to find them. I went down near the waters edge to find they were in the middle of the canal on some sort of metal disc.

Another disc was near the shore that I used to reach them. When I got us all on the same platform the water seemed to crystalize into razors. Large sharks were swarming around piranhas. "Stay close to me." The disc began rising and sinking slightly, causing our surface area to diminish. The children were crying and each had a death crip on my shirt. I successfully navigated the disc back to the shore and the water returned to it's usually tranquility.

"We need to find a place to lay low for a while." Ton directed us to Renton. We came upon a shanty with the title "Adam's" on the sign. I'd never seen a place like it before. The walls were crumbling and the lights occasionally shot sparks. We sat down at a series of tables and ordered a round of drinks, "virgin for the minors". A large poker table was brought out and it was explained that we would have to play to pay off the debt for the gun used earlier. We were only a few hands in when an old girl friend of mine showed up with a group of rather large men. They wanted to play pool but the poker table was blocking the pool table. She began screaming. "You guys this might be bad, that's my ex-girlfriend." One of the men grabbed the edge of the table and chucked it across the room, chips flying everywhere. "This scene is spent we need to go." There was a lot of confusion as we all tried to get out. "We have to go back and pay the tab!" "After all of this you're concerned about a bar tab?" "We can't burn this bridge we'll need these people again." I rushed back in and paid the tab quickly, narrowly avoiding a barstool to the head.

We ended up at a house similar to what I imagine Brooklyn row houses to look like. Everyone was on edge and each of the windows was manned by someone with a gun. Suddenly my ex arrives in a vehicle with a friend of hers. They'd come to return the SN's purse that they'd stolen. As I'm walking out to talk with them I turn to DH and say, "I want a red dot on her head until she leaves."

I went down to talk to them. Her friend says that they're sorry and the money and key rings are gone. I looked in the purse. There were many keys and key chains floating about. My ex then leaves her friend standing on the stairs as she tears off. We discuss how screwed up the whole scene was. Some time passed and my ex showed up again. Her friend jumped into the car immediately. As they were getting ready to drive away my old girl pulled a gun from her lap, "you've had your chance." Before she was able to fire a shot came from the house behind me. She was hit right in the hand, which caused her to drop the gun and hit the gas pedal. I turned around to see Devid with a shot gun smiling from the top floor window. I gave him a salute and went inside.

We decided that we had to go back to "Adam's". We drove past the building 3 or 4 times, sizing up the scene, before deciding to head in. We pulled around back to park by the pier. There was a group of people down a small alley. "We aren't ready to meet them yet. Best to avoid em for now." "Meet who?"

The parking lot was nearly empty but there was still a man directing traffic. His neck arched up and to the left, his eyes to the moon. His face was a festering green and he wrecked of rotting flesh. Zombies.

He approached the van asking for a fee. SN grabs a gun from under her seat and blasts him right in the head. The children start screaming as she begins to wipe the goo from their faces. "I ain't paying that thing." People start pouring out of "Adam's". As soon as they realize that we were the same people involved in trashing the place earlier any glimpse of tolerance was gone. They each had some form of very large gun within arms reach and suddenly we realized that this wasn't a standard gun fight, but more a display of high powered artillery. Rockets exploded all around us. I could hear the clankering of metal and concrete as grenades rolled into view. Flames engulfed the view in the rearview as the owner of the establishment ignited the end of a long wand connected to a tank of gasoline strapped to his back.

I remember looking over to Devid in the drivers seat. "This is way too hot for me." And he peeled out. The smell of burning rubber overpowering the rest of the carnage.
As soon as it seemed like the worst was behind us I lit a cigarette and looked back, "Is anyone dead?" The young boy was the first to reply, "We could have died?"

CONFERM RECIET

I've been having stomach pains today. I'm not sure if it's because I ate something that doesn't like me or what. It makes me feel like Winston Smith....

Work is very busy and people are idiots...

"While We Wait For The Others" didn't get the top spot in Pitchforks 100 Best Tracks 2009 list. It wasn't even in the top ten. I think this is a total fail on their part. My Girls is a great cut and I don't disagree with it's placement on the top. I just think they overlooked Grizzly Bear...

In my dream last night I was going to Highline Community College. The school had been replaced with a strip mall and movie theater. I was there with AK, my dad and my stepmom. We were going to watch a movie, but I had to be somewhere. I couldn't understand why I was there when I had some place else to be. Then I was in Federal Way climbing up a steep hill covered in rocks and foliage. When I reached the top there was a bus waiting for me. I got on the bus and it took me back to the strip mall. I tried to tell the driver to stop, but he didn't...

If you're thinking about prowlin' around Kelso, think again...

They convicted Naveed Haq finally. I hope that this marks some sense of closure for the families of the victims. The sad part is that it reminds me when these things didn't seem to be a regular occurrence...

"Under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me"...

There is only one thing that I really want this year...