I'd have shit the bed if only to get closure on that anecdote

Slept with the patch on last night. I didn't mean to, but I did. Strange dreams. I wish I remembered more of what happened...

I was living back in this house on 22nd in the U District. However in this reality everything about the house was opposite. I was getting ready to move into the unit and was moving things in before I was technically a resident.

Everything I owned was bling. Antique oak furniture. Tiffany lamps. Those kinds of things. The apartment was small and everywhere you looked there was elegance. I wandered down to the 7-11 to get a pack of cigarettes (this is common in my dreams now) and when I got back the door was open.

I went inside slowly, hoping that whoever was robbing my stuff was still there. Sure enough when I got into the bedroom I found an old friend of my brothers rooting through my drawers. He'd just found my herb stash, which would have been measured in ounces if not pounds, and had a handful of it up to his face when I walked in. Immediately he freaked out and try to dart around me. I was able to stop him easily and hog tied him up with some ribbon nearby. Yeah apparently in this reality I'm the kind of person who has ribbon lying around. Go figure.

Then I called the cops. They arrived in short time and started to look around the place and question the perp. That's when the police noticed my purp. In my haste to have the man arrested I failed to put it all away and the place reeked of that jumbo cash crop. So as soon as they had dealt with the thief I was also arrested for felony possession and unlawful entry.

The confiscated all of my things (the weed, my furniture, everything) and took me to jail. Jail wasn't so bad. I had a cell all to myself in a room that could only be described as extremely sterile. I was there for what seemed to be an eternity and it very well might have been. The lights were always on.

Every once in a while and elderly woman would come by with a cart of books and let me take a few. She was the only person I saw until a group of very large men, easily twice my size, arrived and told me it was time to go. I followed closely behind them as we traveled through a labyrinth of cells, all identical to my own. It went on forever.

I never reached our final destination because I woke up and had to take a shit. I wanted nothing more than to get back into bed and fall right back in place.

Unfortunately it was for not and instead I was at a party. I didn't know anyone there but it seemed like the place to be. I spent some time talking with a group of people, mostly newly weds, about the prospects of succession and it's impact on our cultural integrity. I continued to hit the snooze, much longer than I should have, and as a result was 15 minutes late to work.