The analytics must be flawed

My deepest apologies to the people of Alaska and New Mexico. It has been brought to my attention that Leandra has been representing your fair states in viewership. I will not be placing either of you on "the list". Further more I take back anything that I said that may have been taken as offensive. I was wrong. I'll say it again: I WAS WRONG! I hope that this incident doesn't hamper any further progress between us.

As for the people of Wyoming you can all go screw yourselves with a rusted spinning wheel. You mean nothing to me.

Looking for Wyoming

Some time ago a friend of mine told me that Wyoming is a myth. To him the state wasn't really there and in order to perpetuate the idea that it was the federal government paid people to say they were from Wyoming and filled buses with cadavers then slapped "Wyoming" plates on the bus to further the illusion.

Now I'm not going to go that far. I have a good friend who claims to have lived in Wyoming and I believe him. Why would he lie about something like that? However I've not had a single visitor from Wyoming to my blog. Have I offended Wyoming with something I said? Up until the beginning of this post I can't imagine what it would have been.

In my years I've heard stories from Wyoming about hunting in freezing temperatures and accidentally wandering into abandon uranium mines. Other about great geysers and landscapes that continue off into eternity. Now that is the Wyoming that I want to see.

I'm not so down with the wolf massacres that seem to be common place out there. It understandable that you want to protect yourself and not have dogs running off with your cattle, but killing them by the pack isn't the answer. However I am willing to look past previous mistakes.

It's time for the people of Wyoming and Desomnia in Drull to form a lasting partnership. We could start by cross breding buffalo with watusis to creat a form of super cattle to would solve world hunger and train the wolf packs to be our unholy army of the night! If we join forces there would be nothing that could stop us! Combining our forces would result in a Utopian society where everyone would live in harmony.

Please think about the children (won't somebody PLEASE think about the CHILDREN!) and accept my gracious offer. Wyoming and Drull Forever.

Looking for Nevada

Oh Silver State why do you shun me? I've visited your lands many a times and you have never come to visit me. Well as I did for the Dakotas now I'm going to give you a reason, sorry you only get one, but it's a good one...

First and for most you took my money. Every time I see you you take my money. Whether it's on The Strip, Downtown Vegas, Reno or Tahoe you always take my money. The crazy part is that I continue to come and see you. And you know why? Because I love your abuse. I get an unbelievable rush from letting you reach into my pockets and feel around for every last dollar. It like being molested by a ghost with neon eyes. Even just passing over in a plane I feel the urge to jump from 40,000 feet and give into you once more. I wonder what airfare is looking like right now...