The World According to a Desomniac (100th Post!)

My name is Nathan and I have been an avid reader of "Desomnia in Drull" since it's inception in late 2007. In celebration of its 100th posting, I have put together a collage of highlights from the past. For those who don't read this blog, it will hopefully serve as a good introduction into the mind of Desomniac. For fans of the blog, it will be a chance to relive some of the best moments.

The World According to a Desomniac

Nothing would make me happier than to have a vat of pho broth brewing in my kitchen all winter long.....The blade came full circle, nearly hitting his comrades, and heading straight for me. I was incapable of moving as the saw blade cut through my right temple......I'm going to the hospital right now. I'm waiting for my ride. Hopefully everything turns out okay and it's just something stupid like heart burn. But I'm not terribly optimistic......I really need a giraffe......Now I don't know about these asshole theives, but I'd rather not turn our great country into a fascist haven where all our rights are oppressed and you're nothing more than a battery for the state.......Finally I found the words, "Who is the mother?" The nurses chuckled slightly, "Well you are." I looked at the other two nurses who just smiled at me. "Well then who is the father?" "You are."......Many people now have mentioned that my blog is either "dark" or "depressing". I guess I just don't see it that way. Too all of you who do, I encourage you to search for the drull in it all. Keep in mind that through all the desolation there is still a sense of forgiveness. It's that forgiveness that gives us sanguine composure to keep going........Gobble Gobble. Eat more turkey. It's good for you...On my desk you can find the following things: An empty coffee mug, two "kinyo" speakers, a man named Reynold smiling from a business card that reads "THE MAGIC TUXEDO", a can of air, a stapler, an old bottle cap and piece of paper with the quote "I have always imaginged that paradise will be some kind of library" - Jorge Luis Borges........I think that it would benefit all of you out there to take the time today and read a nursery rhyme today. Here are a few recommendations: "Hey Diddle Diddle", "Baa Baa Black Sheep", "Hickory Dickory Dock", "Little Miss Muffet", "Rub a Dub Dub"......Where does everyone stand on Cannibalism?....I've found that when some people don't like my answer they will pause, for a long time.......I really hate people who call me and have no idea what they want. I'm current listening to this guy fumble around his shop deciding what he needs to order. Ridiculous.....Ozzie's is a wretched, wretched place....I think that my sister should get a goat. She doesn't think so. She's actually very much against the idea. The strange thing here is that her husband agrees with me. And for any of you who know my brother-in-law, you'll agree it's strange that we'd agree on anything. So I have to ask, if two people with completely opposite ideologies can agree about the goat can it really be a bad idea?....This is the 50th blog post. Yeah me, I guess...If ever given the oppurtunity and training I would walk on burning coals. But just not right now...I had a dream last night. I lived with Nathan. I think we were on Capitol Hill. The moon was everywhere. At one point I put on a pair of pants that were so tall they covered my face and then began to faces through the zipper. Nathan couldn't stop laughing. He laughed more when I told him about it today...Mmmm, coffee......People do weird things on the toilet. Actually I can't say that. I've done all of those things...Just as I was getting ready to drift back into the dreamworld I realized two eyes staring blankly in my direction, and who else but Swirly Joe....I know I know, it's hippie bullshit, but here me out. Illegal marijuana is our state's 6th largest cash crop, above cherries....A customer just accused me of slacking off! HAHAHA! Little does he know I'm writing this as he's ranting in my ear...We're thinking about getting a whole pig for the BBB. I was looking into getting a live one to butcher in the back yard, but the city won't let me keep around the house for a couple days, so I've got to call Bob, hopefully he can help us out...I have a Chinese fortune that I keep up at my desk, "An unexpected phone call will bring good news." I'm still waiting for that to come true...I want to move out of the city and live on a farm. I would have chickens, a goat, a dairy cow named Henrietta....Well I guess that's it today. Just camping and poop...