I was boning up on my tusk knowledge and ran across a rather prime piece of ivory. Turns out that Poland's Prime Minister answers to the name Tusk. A fine name for a fine fellow. I was going to make this whole post about him, but than I remembered the marvelous tusked creature, the narwhal.
If I'm ever mutated into some sort of whale I would most definitely choose the Narwhal. How majestic they are! They swim about the arctic seas in search of food without a care in the world, slicing through the water with their magnificent tusk. The tusk, which is actually an elongated tooth that grows through the lip, is most commonly found on males, however females have been known to sport the ivory as well. In some very rare cases they've also been known to grow double tusks! I'd spend all my days searching the seas for a double tusked beauty to bear my children in hopes that they too would be blessed.
At times they are known to engage in an act known as "tusking" where the males gather together and rub their tusks against each other. At first this may seem slightly homo-erotic but in truth its far from it. They do this in order to establish dominance over each other in order to ensure they are rewarded with the best female mate. Now if I were a narwhal I wouldn't rub my tusk up on another dudes. I'd more likely just lunge at him and hope that my tusk pierces my opponent in the heart or lungs. Survival of the fittest.
Aren't Narwhals grand? If not for the reasons stated above, than because they make a brief, but very satisfying, cameo in the hit song "Rock Lobster" by the B-52s.
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